NOTABLE NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

SPIDER-MAN: "Find a nice girl and finally settle down and get married. That'd be a nice change."

HULK: "Me tied of green. Me make change for new year."

BATMAN: "Listen to more musical soundtracks. Maybe some Sondheim."

HELLBOY: "Less swearing. Might hafta go downtown and legally change my name to Heckboy."

SINESTRO: "Yes. Name changing. That's a good idea. I think the name has been a problem. Maybe I'd get less people on my case if I change my name to Coolio. What? That's taken?"

BOB THE MONITOR: "Less TV"

BIZARRO SUPERMAN: "Me am spend more, me am eat more and me am try to be horribler person."

BIZARRO DAN DIDIO: "I'll try not to bury the fans in ridiculously huge crossovers that take months and months and have rushed art and writing that only serves to set up more crossovers."

DREAMLAND COMICS: "We're going to get out of the dishwasher manufacturing business and concentrate on something new. We're thinking comics and games might be the way to go in the new economy."